Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Parenting - the most rewarding, frustrating, thankless, rewarding job ever. There is no greater satisfaction than holding those little miracles and knowing God has trusted us to raise them. Ryan and I are both determined to raise our girls in a manner pleasing to Him.
Karsyn - the most beautiful, kind-hearted, intelligent, creative, happiest little girl I've ever known has been testing boundaries in ways I never could imagine. The challenge: how to properly discipline a 3 year old for lying, stealing, and disobedience?
I'm posting this in hopes some of you experienced parents could lend some advice.
Once we discovered she stole from a store, we took her back to the store where she returned the merchandise and apologized to the manager. We have also taken away her TV/Movie privileges for a week.
In response to her lying, we have taken away some of her toys.
Time out doesn't seem to work. Spankings don't work (we gave up on that a loooong time ago).
Of course with every offense, we discuss the situation, explain why it's wrong, brainstorm ways we can do the right thing, and exchange hugs and kisses along with reassurance that we love her, she's a good person, we just don't like her behavior....
Feel free to chime in.
I say, "Good job, mama." I am quickly learning that we can do our very best but they have to change their own hearts to really change behavior and that's very hard for a wee one! :P One of the things my cousin helped me start doing through her example was talking about "changing her heart" and in that making repentance and forgiveness easier to understand. We do try to incorporate scripture/stories or find books related to the situation too. Maybe there are some library books or something you can order online that helps her see it in a different way? We ordered "Hands are not for hitting" on Amazon as Jillien started randomly using that as an outlet for frustration... we never spank and just finally figured out a pattern that her flailing hands were just happening out of communication or attention frustration. Anyway, you guys are doing a great job but GOODNESS I know how frustrating these moments/days/situations are.
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ReplyDeleteSo when I worked in Deer Park, Matthew went to daycare there. One of the rules was that you cannot bring your own toys to the classroom. I had the teacher tell him that in front of me and the next day, I repeated that he was not allowed to take his toys to daycare. I told him that if he did, I would throw them away. Well what did he do?? Yep he took his favorite action figures to daycare. When I picked him up that afternoon, the teachers told me what he did. Well, like I promised, I made him take his favorite action figures to the big green dumpster and I threw them away. At 4yrs old, he knew that when I say I am going to do something, I did it. Whether it’s his action figures then or all his video games, he knows that if he doesn’t do awesome in school or doesn’t use his manners, that he will lose his things. He’s had to learn that the hard way.
I say talk to her like an adult. If she does things that are not right, then take her things away until she can learn that what she did was wrong.
She has to learn that in order to have all the things she loves, that she has to earn them back. Not just by saying she is sorry but by showing you guys that she can go to a store and not steal and not just once but always.
Don’t tell her that if she does it a few times that she can get her things back because then she will just do it only to get her things back.
She needs to learn that even if she never gets her things back, she still cannot steal and lie to you guys about it.
~ Jessica and Matthew
I think she could be doing this for attention since she has something to compete with now, her little sister. I would talk to her calmly, tell her it is wrong and a bad thing to do, that people can really get into a lot of trouble when they steal, even when they are grown ups, and that the big people have to go to jail when they steal. Keep it simple, then drop it. Do this each time, then drop it. Just love on her as normal, and let her know how happy you are that she is your daughter. But I think keep it seperate from when you talk to her about these other things. That way she gets the point. One of my favorite quotes is by Lady Bird Johnson. "Children become what we expect of them" I'll call you. xoxoxoxoxo Aunt Connie
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